Have you ever felt horny while seeing your partner flirt with others? Have you asked yourself, “Why is jealousy turning me on”? Or have you fantasized about kinky fetishes like cuckolding?
If you’re unsure if it’s okay to be aroused by feelings of jealousy, check out our quick rundown of the psychology behind the cuckold fetish. We’ll also give you some reasons why jealousy is a big turn-on for many people!
The Jealousy That We Know
Jealousy has many forms, and many often mistake it for envy. It’s a feeling that encompasses fears, insecurities, and concerns. In simple terms, all of us experience some form of jealousy. We all desire to have something that others possess. That can be both unhealthy and healthy.
In relationships, jealousy can reveal some underlying issues, low self-esteem, or the general quality of our bonds. However, it can point to a partner being protective, self-reflective, and caring in other instances. If that is the case, it’s usually healthy to feel a little jealous. Yet, jealousy becomes unhealthy or even dangerous if it consumes someone. In that case, they can become controlling and manipulative. A threat to the relationship can also trigger these feelings. What’s more, jealousy is a universal emotion. It impacts all genders as well as people of all cultures.
In men and women, it can also manifest itself through sexual arousal. We refer to this as sexual jealousy. It’s a real thing: jealousy can make you extremely aroused! The most common occurrence of this is make-up sex since some fights can evolve around jealousy. However, arousal through jealousy can also turn into a sexual fetish like cuckolding.
But Why Do You Feel Aroused?
Physical and psychological arousal occurs as a result of being turned on or stimulated. According to psychologists, it starts in the brain. Sexual stimulation or various emotions like anger, anxiety, and jealousy can trigger it. The popular belief is that jealousy makes people feel inadequate or humiliated, which, in turn, gets them off.
For instance, with cuckolding, the male partner usually observes his wife with other men. Then, he gets aroused by not being allowed to participate. Quite often, the goal is to humiliate the cuck by making him feel jealous and insufficient. The cuck can gain a lot of sexual pleasure through this form of erotic humiliation. That can increase their jealousy and flame their desire. Also, some people could be turned on because their partners are sexually desirable to strangers. Besides cuckolding, partner swapping, swinging, and group sex are some activities that make people horny by making them jealous.
But is it normal to get turned on when jealous? Interestingly, psychologists haven’t found a clear answer as to why jealousy is a big turn on for so many people. It all depends on the individual and their relationship. However, fetishes like cuckolding have shown us that getting aroused by jealousy can be normal if you execute them safely.
Managing Jealousy and Arousal
So, where can you draw the line between healthy and unhealthy jealousy/arousal? Taking on some kinks like cuckolding requires a lot of preparation, talking, and an understanding of both partner’s needs and wishes.
If you get horny when you see your monogamous partner with others, there’s a chance that they may not be into it. If your partner refuses to fulfill your cuckold or swinging fantasy, the best thing to do would be to back off. Alternatively, you could find another way to get off. Also, if your partner is uncomfortable with it, it can cause harm or even end your partnership or your marriage. That’s when you should manage your jealousy and control it.
However, what if you just want to give in? If your SO is up for it, you could try to get aroused through dirty talk or by watching cuckolding porn. If you want to proceed to cuckolding, there’s no shame in giving in and allowing your jealousy to turn you on, but only if that’s okay with your partner.
Like we’ve said, the cuckold fetish is a prime example of erotic jealousy. The fetish actually falls under masochism and has roots in BDSM. Most male cuckolds prefer to get aroused by watching their wives/girlfriends with other men. However, others may only want to hear about their wives’ infidelity.
Essentially, it reverses the male/female power dynamic and destroys traditional relationship concepts. The opposite of this fetish is cuckqueaning, which is when the female gets off by watching her boyfriend/husband with other women. Either way, the goal is to inflict emotional pain, jealousy, and feelings of humiliation. Because the arrangement is previously discussed, it’s a form of “allowed” cheating.
As mentioned, experts still don’t understand the psychology behind cuckold and cuckquean subcultures. That is, they have not yet determined the root of why cuckolding is arousing. To some, it may be about jealousy, while others may not want to feel jealous at all during a cuckolding session. They might want to feel degraded and useless, for instance. On the other hand, if a partner can’t fulfill their loved one’s needs, cuckolding is a way to allow them to have those needs met.
Ultimately, erotic arousal through jealousy is a normal sensation. However, it can be unhealthy if you don’t know what you’re doing. But if your partner is into it and wants to pursue it, it may be time to become a proud cuck or cuckquean! Have fun!